inspired me to write from my angle of life,
I applaud Sophia in her total honesty and truth to lay bare her difficulties she faced when she was growing and still now tackling her body image issues.
this being the subject I should start from the beginning, little old me I wasn’t your average child I was boisterous and what didn’t help was I was 1 and people used to say to my mum,” why is she in a buggy? she is far to old” when they were told I was only one there obviously shocked, see I wasn’t a big child I was tall, I was the tall skinny long-haired goofy teeth kid that people found easy to tease, puberty hit and I was 8-9 a friend pointed out I had under arm hair and I was so upset I went home crying and was told to shave it,
you would think hitting puberty at a young age would mean I developed the usual set of boobs and matured but no, sadly my body mainly my boobs stayed fairly the same, I was 17-18 size 34AA and slim, mainly due to eating disorder,
I starved myself when I did eat it would be quick crap chocolate fizz, and then I would feel massively guilty and exercise,
I had also of issues growing up with my body, there was one time I recall going clothes shopping with my mum, and now I know what she meant, I was tall skinny no boobs I was shapeless, my mum would get so angry at the shops, obviously Id think it was my fault as to why she was always saying “why does nothing look right on you”
this tainted my enjoyment even till now when I am on an off day I can still hear this said in my mind, if it wasn’t that I was teased and bullied not just in primary aged 5 but all the way through my teens un till I hit 16-17 I was accepted I loved college
The fact I was at college and working had my man, things were great except my body issues, he had to deal with me being unhappy just like my mum and sister..
So I decided I was going to save up my money and buy myself some boobs, my mum assumed that I was going to go way to big like Jordan / Katie Price, but that is and never will be what I want to look like I just wanted to look like a woman
you name it i tried it breast enhancement pills, Hoover because of the Bravo bra instead of surgery, in the end I went and had it done I was so thrilled with the results, I went back for liposuction, in several areas
- inner and outer thighs
lets just say looking back on it now it was totally worthless getting done, I would kill to be the size I was then now..
I am still battling with my daemons not long after I had my breasts done I fell pregnant with my little lady who is now 7, due to the weight gain and loss my implants started to ripple and hurt and look funny, so I had to pay for more, thinking about it now I wish I had gone a tiny bit bigger … but I shall have to work on that.
I have been through a lot of hurts and upset some caused by others, which lead to self-harming, drinking, smoking and other stuff I’m not proud of it but we live, and we defiantly learn one way or another things become very clear and we think If I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have done it,
If I was fortunate enough to hitch a ride with the Mad Matt Smith id love to revisit and study my life to pin point where things started to go wrong and why.
sadly I’m still fighting with my body issues and still not happy with myself.
I am going to Blog and Vlog on this topic with my process.
Just thought it was worth to note the other end of the spectrum being called names and things happen at all age shapes and sizes. Unfortunately, if you don’t fit in with the click, you tend never to feel or think you’re good enough for anyone
leaving your confidence at an all time low.
Anyway, sending big hugs to Sophia